Coming Home

by | Sep 22, 2016 | Blog | 2 comments

A client recently sent me a link to Sigma and Rita Ora’s “Coming Home”. This song managed to express the inexpressible, the longing for a home that has never been known. The lyrics, “there’s a life I always knew but never had”, are some of the most poignant I have ever come across. Click the image to hear the song.

Feeling that lack of a home, and the painful realisation that their life isn’t going where they want it to go, is a feeling common to the adult TCKs that come to work with Life Story.

A sense of homelessness, however, is NOT some kind of personal failure to belong. Instead it is a characteristic consequence of early experiences of high mobility. It is the result of a whole load of learnt behaviours and beliefs about the world around us, and about our Selves.

And here’s the thing, if our goal is to come home, we can do that. We just need to figure out what home means to us and how to build that first. And this process of centering our Selves in our Stories will bring us Home.

This song gives us three clues as to how to do this…

1. “I’ll never find it on my own”

This is not me saying you can’t do this without therapy 🙂 But belonging does necessarily involve other people… and as appealing as it might be to work it all out independently, finding home can only be done by engaging with the glorious mess of human relationships.

2. “Letting me go so I can find myself again”

This is not me saying that you need to lose those aspects of your identity that mean so much to you! Only that sometimes the ‘fearless nomad’ aspect of our Selves crowds out our other Selves, and learning to relax our grip on this can leave room for us to grow and become a home to ourselves.

3. “I need that ground beneath my feet”

Ah, Place… as much as it’s a nice idea that we are all just a plane ride away from one of our many homes, the clients that come to me express that they want to learn to stay grounded… to really feel themselves to be in Place. I do not believe belonging exists in people alone; instead belonging is fiercely territorial and taking time to engage with the local, as well as the global, in our lives goes a long way to helping us “come home”.

If it sounds like hard work, it is 🙂 But it’s also liberating, glorious, empowering, and hopeful.

Want some support as you look to “come home”? Get in touch here, I’d love to support your next steps…

Lyrics

Know I’ll never find it on my own
‘Cause this life ain’t leading nowhere I can go
I’m standing still with nothing in my way
Letting me go so I can find myself again

I need that
Ground beneath my feet to feel that
Ground beneath my feet
I need that
Ground beneath my feet to feel that
Ground beneath my feet
I need that

I need that home, I’m coming home, I’m coming home
‘Cause this life that I’ve been living ain’t my own
Home, I’m coming home, I’m coming home
‘Cause I’m tired of being out here on my own
I’m coming home, oh yeah yeah yeah
I’m coming home, oh yeah
And all of this time I’ve been living it up
And all I’ve got left is rubble and dust
Oh oh, I’m coming home

I know if I can find my own way back
There’s a life I always knew but never had
I’m tired of fighting things that I can’t change
Letting me go so I can finally find my place

I need that
Ground beneath my feet to feel that
Ground beneath my feet
I need that
Ground beneath my feet to feel that
Ground beneath my feet
I need that
Ground beneath my feet to feel that
Ground beneath my feet
I need that
Ground beneath my feet to feel that
Ground beneath my feet
I need that

I need that home, I’m coming home, I’m coming home
‘Cause this life that I’ve been living ain’t my own
Home, I’m coming home, I’m coming home
‘Cause I’m tired of being out here on my own
I’m coming home, oh yeah yeah yeah
I’m coming home, oh yeah
And all of this time I’ve been living it up
And all I’ve got left is rubble and dust
Oh oh, I’m coming home

2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. Dan Elyea

    Interesting and satisfying that you could mine so much gold from a pop song, Dr. Rachel. Well done. Who knew? “Home” remains difficult to pin down for this bunch that you work with. Bless you for you efforts to smooth the road for us. Good application of this song, ideed. Dan

    Reply
    • Dr. Rachel Cason

      Thanks for the feedback, Dan, really appreciate it! “Home” is certainly a challenge for many of us… me included! But we can tackle it in good company 🙂

      Reply

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